An excerpt from Mumford's diary ...

Thursday ...

Masculinity diminishing at an alrming rate as my beloved demonstrates her handywoman skills.

Let me explain.

I finished a full morning being a responsible business person and executing my daily duties, took a call from my gay radio announcer friend and chewed the fat, poured a fine chilled red made by a collegue's father and caught up on all the local gossip.

Meanwhile, herself had been down to bunnings and had messaged to inform me of her intention to erect a new wall-to-wall work space in the study ...

I informed my gay friend that, no, I couldn’t come out to play as I was waiting for my girlfriend to come home and we were going to put up shelves. Shrieks were heard from the other end of the phone as my claim "no, really – I am straight” in this town diminished.

Now that herself is at home - as I write - she drills, sockets and tinkers away with the enthusiasm of a tradesman complete with bum-crack.

It would not be so bad if it were not for the fact that each request she makes for me to “hold this” or "bring me some more dynabolts” only serves to reveal me as the completely non-blokey, non-handy, scared-of-power-tools-for-fear-of-cutting-my-hand-off, kind of guy.

The dog betrayed me at first, hanging out with mum, until the power tools scared her and she sought refuge with the women in the studio whilst mens' work was being done in the study.

Problem is, I was in the studio.

Alone.

First, the man bag. Now this.

Just great.

I am straight I tell you!!