Tuesday 9 December 2008

Secret Men's Business

Well, it's official. My Beloved (aka Mumford the Magician) has been cited in the local rag's daily gossip column as a "man about town".

Ah, what images that simple phrase brings to mind! Debonair, certainly. Charming, witty and a raconteur of note. Devastatingly handsome and (for the ladies) slightly dangerous to know? A person to see and be seen with...

Of course most of this is completely true ... but one wonders if the Advetiser would have been quite as ready to bestow that particular soubriquet had they seen this ...

"Look what I've bought" my Beloved said excitedly as he joined me at the pub a month or so back. "It's like a portable office! It has room for my phone, and my book and sunglasses and ... oh yes, here's a little pocket for my wallet and I can put my pens here ..."

"It's a man-bag" said I, stating what was patently obvious from the first glimpse.

"No, no!" he said, horrified. "It's just like a small briefcase, except with this convenient shoulder strap ..."

"It's a man-bag" I repeated, lips twitching as I tried (unsuccessfully) to keep a straight face.

"It's genuine leather ... " said he, in a last ditch attempt to justify his purchase.

"It's a man-bag."

At this point we were joined by several of our gay friends who, after greetings all round, spotted said item.

"Oh look!" one said. "Mumford has got himself a man-bag!" There several were oo's and ah's as the man-bag was displayed and it's (admittedly) convenient features explained.

"See!" said he, triumphant. "The guys all like it!"

"Yes" replied one of the group. "But no self-respecting homosexual would ever actually be SEEN with one. It's just TOOOOO camp!"

To date the man-bag has endured, despite the fact that I tend to burst into peals of laughter whenever I see it.

My Beloved carries it off with panache, though. Maybe something only a Man About Town could do ...

3 comments:

Arizaphale said...

It is a seriously disturbing, if convenient, item. It is NOT a briefcase. Not by any stretch of the imagination (or anything else you feel like stretching).
And btw, I shall be referring to your Beloved as 'The Amazing Mumford' as seen on the CTW. :-)

Anonymous said...

It's a Man-bag...

Anonymous said...

No comment on the bag, but don't ever get me started on that waste of perfectly good trees that they call a "newspaper".